As romanceable characters become increasingly well-written, diverse, charming (and exceedingly attractive in high-quality cutscenes), monogamous and polyamorous gamers find common ground by wishing they could court more characters simultaneously. Dating several characters might be purely practical for players who lack time for several playthroughs to uncover every line of romantic dialogue or judge which love interest benefits gameplay most. But for polyamorous people who actually date multiple partners in healthy, consensual relationships, non-monogamous romance options in gaming reflect their real-life experiences.
Importantly, polyamory in video games should not be confused with non-consensual infidelity; for example,romances inThe WitcherorPersona 4are not ‘polyamorous’ because the player must date multiple people secretly or risk love interests feeling betrayed and deceived. To be ethically polyamorous means dating people who give informed consent to sharing their partner romantically.Fallout 4andFablewere praised for relationships with multiple NPCs(with in-game incentives of increased resources for each spouse), but are these characters genuinely, happily polyamorous? Underwhelming portrayals of polyamory feature NPCs who are oblivious that the player is courting others or who lack the detailed coding and characterization to have nuanced reactions to non-monogamy. The best depictions of polyamory in gaming aren’t about harvesting NPCs’ hearts in exchange for in-game benefits, but about crafting meaningful, deep romances that all characters enthusiastically consent to.
6Pumpkin Days
Date 100 Villagers and Marry 3
In the successful farming simulatorStardew Valley,players were torn between romancing numerous endearing villagersand choosing one main partner,but gamers need not make this agonizing final choice inVerdant SkiesandPumpkin Days.Verdant Skiesis a colony-building game with all the essential ingredients of farming, hunting, and seducing multiple love interests. Seven characters will happily engage in non-exclusive relationships and dating all seven lovers simultaneously is rewarded with the Colony Charmer achievement. However, polyamorous players cannot be married, nor can they have babies.
Meanwhile,Pumpkin Daysoffers 100 dateable characters and a marriage of up to three partners in one wedding ceremony. Players can have a maximum of eight children, but it may not be possible to have children with many different parents. Positive representations of polyamory can be undermined if life sims heavily restrict marriages or forbid having children with multiple partners. Unfortunately, wholesome portrayals of children being raised in healthy, polyamorous households are relatively non-existent in gaming.
From 100 Baby Challengesand beyond, Simmers have always bent the rules of monogamy inThe Sims 4. Up until 2024, Sims who “cheated” by dating more than one Sim were met with a rapid face slap (inThe Sims 2fashion), trash can kicking, and newspaper thefts. However,new features from The Sims 4Lovestruckexpansion packreinvented relationship structures in the franchise, facilitating non-monogamous relationships (and serial daters, for those who need 100 baby daddies).
With newly introduced customizable relationship boundaries, players can adjust whether Sims experience jealousy over non-physical, physical, or sexual romantic interactions and can opt into jealous tendencies that can be altered through healthy conversations.The Sims 4still lacks unique animations for multiple partners who want to cuddle, kiss, hold hands, or sleep in bed all at the same time. However, these changes are a huge first step for EA to accommodate diverse sexualities beyond the cultural mainstream and acknowledge that polyamory shouldn’t be a taboo, X-rated feature.
Conceptually,The Waylandersis one of the most ambitious, lesser-known RPGs with polyamorous dating options. Set in a mythical kingdom modeled on ancient Europe, players immerse themselves in Celtic mythology while warring for the throne. Players encounter a variety of romanceable characters, who may be monogamous, polyamorous, simply not interested, or crushing elsewhere. To add to the complexities, players unexpectedly time travel back and forth hundreds of years between the Dark Ages and Medieval Spain, causing mayhem in all aspects of civilian life, including romantic connections.
Many mortal love interests will have perished and reincarnated, retaining their souls but reappearing with new genders, personalities, cultures, and experiences, forcing protagonists to court them from scratch. Immortal lovers will remember time-traveling players but maybe rightly miffed about centuries of romantic absence. Poly and queer relationships are perceived differently when shifting between sexually progressive ancient Celtics to Catholic Spaniards.The Waylandershas been criticized for bugs and underdevelopment, attributed to the hugely ambitious gameplay that GATO Studios aspired towards. However, the exciting complexities of their queer and poly dynamics mixed with chaotic time travel makeThe Waylandersan intriguing choice for exploring polyamorous dating in gaming.
The merits ofBaldur’s Gate 3are plentiful, but praise is especially due to how this 2023 turn-based fantasy RPG celebrates consent-focusedpolyamorous romance options.Baldur’s Gate 3recreates the joy of tabletop 5th EditionDungeons and Dragons, with incredible freedom of choice with character designs, builds, and party compositions; the romance options are just as nuanced, with diverse combinations for healthy relationships. While many characters choose to be monogamous,Baldur’s Gate 3offers players the choice to date multiple companions in a harmonious way.
The game champions Archdruid, Halsin, who is mindful of only pursuing romance with the player if their pre-existing lovers consent to his presence and participation. While Shadowheart and Astarion enthusiastically consent to the player’s courtship with Halsin, Karlach’s permission is laced with fear of losing the player; she requests a “don’t ask, don’t tell” situation that is valid within polyamorous relationships, but from Act 2 onwards Karlach is most comfortable in a monogamous relationship. Other characters including the Emperor, Minthara, and the Drow Twins welcome open relationships, but resentment towards Minthara results in Halsin, Will, and Karlach declining polyamorous scenarios with her, again demonstrating that healthy polyamorous depictions include the right to opt out.
Polyamory inPathfinder: Kingmakeris much more nuanced, flawed, and compelling than harvesting the hearts of nonchalant NPCs who don’t interact with one another. In this 2018 isometric realm-building RPG, players are invited to join a pre-established couple, Octavia and Regongar, who became trauma-bonded after being enslaved together. Their upsetting history is the root of many issues, as Regongar struggles with insecurities and self-harm, while strong-willed Octavia fears commitment after her imprisonment. Thankfully, polyamory isn’t treated as a magical cure to solve their problems, nor is polyamory blamed for their tension; the game acknowledges that all relationships are complicated and flawed and require open communication to thrive.
Pathfinder: Kingmakerexcels in enabling players to consent to each stage of transitioning into an equal, loving partner in the triad, as Regongar and Octavia often ask for the protagonist’s permission to proceed romantically. Regongar and Octavia both actively, and vocally consent to dating others, and the player is given countless opportunities to set their own boundaries and choose whether they feel jealousy when Octavia flirts with strangers, which either generates conflict or is readily respected. Unfortunately, this codependent couple will canonically die if players separate them by dating one half only. This places great culpability on players to nurture the triad, while applying negative connotations that polyamory is a coping mechanism or that monogamy should be discouraged. The complicated example of polyamory inPathfinder: Kingmakeris as progressive as it is problematic; it cannot be upheld as a perfect role model for healthy functioning polyamorous relationships, but it remains one of the most detailed and consent-focused polyamorous dating options in gaming.
Non-conventional to its core, roguelike RPGHadesdefies tradition wherever possible. Not only doesHadesreward players for dying, but Zagreus derives masochistic pleasure from his battles, deaths, and relationships; his courtship with sadistic repeat boss, Megaera, thrives when she flirtatiously threatens Zagreus with her “painful” whip to his delight. Zagreus can simultaneously romance Thanatos, the personification of Death, with no negative repercussions.
While protagonists in other games (such asPersona 4orThe Witcher 3) would be rejected or attacked by love interests for their infidelity, Hades takes a uniquely unexpected route. When Megaera and Thanatos confront Zagreus for romancing them both, they are not jealous or competitive. Instead, they seductively offer intimacy as a triad, initiating a polyamorous relationship if Zagreus consents. Unlike games that dabble unethically and non-consensually in courting multiple lovers,Hadesmakes it clear that all parties must consent to a poly situation; Megaera reassures Zagreus that they won’t “cling to each other viciously” as mortals might, and he is free to date anyone else. The game’s sequel,Hades 2, has been in early access since May 2024, but players hope that new protagonist Melinoe will also consensually explore queer, polyamorous relationships with as many love interests as she pleases.
